I was never a religious person. Although I prayed when I was small-- you know, those kinds of prayers where you pray you won't get nightmares..
I have been... a catholic (birth till about 12 years old) and then I went to a Christian school and became a born again christian (this lasted about 3 years) and then I kindda went back to a catholic/buddist stage where I went with the flow of the beliefs of my mom. (who is part catholic and part buddist)
It's funny how we categorized ourselves as part this and that... I have some friends who are 25% chinese, 75% filipino or 50% this and 50% that.. as if we can judge a person by the purity of their race. But I digress.... back to God.
For several years, I went on a "believer" but not a doer kind of existence.. (I believed in God but was never went to church)
I was having second thoughts about writing this topic but I guess this blog is for me to share my thoughts.. so I will. The last few weeks have been, to say the least, trying times. I found that when you are out of options and at what you feel is the lowest point, there is no one else you can really turn to but God.
I really didn't think God was listening to me. I had several prayers that I was asking God for help and guidance.. (I can't really go into detail about it) but the funny thing is, he found a way to answer them. I AM NOT KIDDING. -- note: never been evangelistic/religious in my life.
It was last weekend when my friend asked me to attend a "post Valentine" get together with a movie showing of some kind. I didn't know what movie it was she was going to show. When we finally got there, it was a Christian movie and the topic struck a chord. It was like EXACTLY the thing I was asking God about. It was like HE heard me and sent my friend to invite me to that movie to get my answers. I was overwhelmed by the movie. I started crying. After the movie, they handed out pamphlets. It was the Gospel of John. (the Christian counsellor who we were talking to asked us to read this gospel but I wasn't able to read all of it because the bible was a bit heavy to carry around) -- another voice of God.. he was telling me to read. Crying in the car.... (sorry, I cry very easily).. The point is, and this I really feel is VERY VERY true. God is there and He hears our prayers. It's just that we don't talk to him that much. We don't even try. I can't explain the deep deep connection to God I felt at that moment.
HE WAS LISTENING
It was then I felt He would be there for me even at the most trying times in my life. When you have no one, you always have GOD. I have been attending Sunday service at the Christian church near our house with my family. Yup. That is correct. Sunday Service. I feel comforted by doing this. It's like lying back on a chair and not falling over because something is supporting you and believe me. I need all the support I can get. (let me not get started on the recent earthquakes.. it's a bit scary)
I guess this is the start of me getting to know God again. (I am not afraid to admit it, although it may sound corny). I have a long way to go.